


Aussie One Chicago

by WedgeTailed



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Australia, Crack, Little bit of blood, Original Character(s), little bit of violence, yeah...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 23:09:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21225779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WedgeTailed/pseuds/WedgeTailed
Summary: Ever wondered what our favourite OneChicago males would be like as Australians. All the stories are true Australian stories that I've inserted the characters into. Enjoy!!(Actually kind of a crack post...)





	Aussie One Chicago

“What’s going on mate?” Adam said, gun drawn as he ran up beside Jay. “Yeah, we’ve got a possible 10-56. I dunno, the guys acting weird.,” Jay said back, taking his eyes away from the offender to look at Adam. Adam frowned at Jay. “Take a look mate.” Adam looked over the door to see a man, in the nude threatening officers with a metal pole. “Jesus. Mate, its 2 in the morning. What the fuck is he doing out here on the highway this time of night?” Adam said. “Couldn’t tell ya,” Jay replied. 

“Hey, buddy. Can you drop the pole please?” Adam yelled. “We’ve been trying to for hours mate but- Adam! Adam, what are you doing?” Jay started hissing as the younger coppa advanced towards the guy. He face palmed as Adam went against all the codes. He groaned but stood up to follow him. The man swung around and stared wild eyed at them. “I think he’s on drugs,” Adam said. “Or he’s just a lunatic,” Jay supplied. The pole was swung towards their direction. Both officers jumped a step back but then continued to creep forward. Adam held out a hand as the man grunted threateningly. “Can you drop that for me mate?” 

The man paused, sizing them up. He suddenly lunged forward swinging it into Adam’s chest and knocking the younger cop to the side. Jay took that opportunity to surge forward and take him down. The two other officers, Hailey and Kim came forward to help. They knew the boy’s antics, mostly Adams and had made the decision between themselves to stand back and let their boys handle it. The ran up to Jay who was pinning the man’s arms above his head, legs wrapped around his torso. Kim cuffed his wrists and hauling him up. 

The man would not stop trying to kick out and swing his legs around. Hailey decided to put leg irons on him and then connect them to his wrist irons, hog- tying him. Meanwhile Jay was peeling Adam’s bulletproof vest off, hoping to get him more room to expand his chest and finally breathe properly again. “You’re a fucking idiot mate,” Jay grunted, ripping the last piece of velcro off. “Well, we got im’,” Adam coughed. Jay shook his head, a faint smirk on his face. He patted his friends stomach and looked up to see the news reporters baring down on them.

\---

“Yep,” Kelly shook his head as the tradie grunted. “It’s really in there, ain’t it?” Matt asked. The winch box had grabbed this guy’s penis. “Luke, no worries mate. We’ll get ya out,” Kelly said, walking away. Matt looked down to where the front of the man’s now bloody pants were pulled tightly into the winch. “What were you doing mate?” Matt asked as he saw Kelly conversing. “I-I was turning it on, w-when it caught m-me and pulled me i-in,” he stuttered, trying to hide how much pain he was in. Matt frown and hummed. “Ya know. This isn’t the first time,” he assured. 

Luke took a sip of the VB he had been holding since they’d rocked up. “I wasn’t having a wank. I swear mate,” he quickly stammered. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I have one of these myself. It’s actually caught one of me mate’s hand once,” Matt said, glaring at Kelly. When Kelly caught him, knowing he was talking about something he did, he sent back a mocking sneer before unloading the circular saw. He slung in over his shoulder and came up to them. Cruz and Otis were standing to the side, gaping. Tony, Capp, Herman and Mouch stood near the trucks. “Hey, Cruz, Otis. Go grab Tony and Capp for me,” Kelly said. 

He placed the saw down and looked around. He noticed and tape measure on the guy’s belt. “Hey, I need to borrow this mate.” None of there sheet would be able to shield his appendage from the saw. He quickly slid the tape measure on top of the guys penis. Matt grabbed the saw and positioned himself on top of the box. Tony and Capp helping keep everything clear of the working zone. Matt cut the metal cable, allowing it to become loose enough for them to pry his penis out. 

Luke yelled out and the crotch of his jeans started to drip red. The paramedics, who had seemingly showed up out of nowhere, stepped in and loaded him up. Matt turned to Kelly frowning. “What?” Kelly asked. “That’s to fourth bloody bugger this month!” he said, shaking his head. “What can ya do? Those things are bastards,” Kelly said, nodding slightly. Matt levelled him with a look before climbing into Tanker 2, Kelly doing the same into Tanker 1. 

\---- 

“Righto, looks like you’re in the dog house mate,” Will said, frowning as he dressed the wound. The man sitting on the gurney gave a fearful look at his oldest daughter who was fuming. “Yeah, mate,” he said. “Didn’t feel it,” the daughter scoffed, crossing her arms. Will smiled and shook his head. “You’re all to go mate. If any pain persists just take an aspirin and you’ll be right as rain,” he said, patting the man on the shoulder. The man nodded, “Thanks, doc.” He and his daughter went out of the ED doors, the daughter shaking her heads while her father talked about it. 

“What was that all about?” Connor chuckled, walking up beside him. Will smirked placing the clip board down. “Bit of a dousy mate,” he said looking at Connor. Connor chuckled again, “Try me. I had one of those too.” “So, this guy comes in because his oldest daughter made ‘im. He’d shot himself in the webbing between his thumb and his pointer. Didn’t feel a damn thing until he pulled it out. Worst thing is, he’s a damn firey with, might I add, a full first aid certificate.” Connor shook his head, smile plastered on his face. “Tradie?” “Yeah, earthmover.” 

“Well there’s you answer,” Connor said before he went on with his story, “Well, my guy walks into the ED in thongs and boardies. He’s limping too. Anyway, he stumbles up to the reception and in the calmest voice says that he’d been down at the beach, got thrown off his board and broke his damn leg. The bone was showing an’ everything! He’d tied his shirt around it, but it was bleeding through it. Damn guy was bleeding everywhere and was as calm as a cucumber.” Will full on laughed at that. “Damn I love this country.” Connor clapped him on the back before moving on. “Me too, mate. Me too,” Will called after him. He chuckled as Connor shook his head good naturedly.

**Author's Note:**

> Rightio fellows, it's midnight and I have my final exams tomorrow, but screw it, writing makes me less stressed. These are true stories, the last one I actually experienced. The man in the story who shot himself was my own dad, but he didn't go to hospital (like he should have!!) he just went to the doctors after it started hurting a lot. (He said he only felt it when he pulled it out, had no idea that he'd done it while he was working). The guy with the broken leg literally happened when I was waiting in the emergency waiting room for news on my sister (she'd okay by the way!!). Yeah... there ya go... Hope you enjoyed.  
Side note: VB= Victorian Bitter (An Australian Beer) which in my opinion tastes like shit...


End file.
